Love is a battlefield

Rewriting the rules of engagement

Nathan Downey

COL: Sex 2.0

Mustering up some financial will power

Leslie Penney

Penney-wise People are usually ashamed to admit that they don’t have a clue about controlling their finances. In a perfect world, we’d have a firm grip on our finances, save a hefty portion of our income, make travel plans, purchase a new home, and save up for retirement. Now, how do you manage all your money, save up and go...

Crypto-sexology

Sex myths and legends

Nathan Downey

Sex 2.0 Of all the animals in the sexual menagerie, some are of a slightly more dubious nature than others – like the Sasquatch and the Loch Ness Monster. An emphatic minority insists these mythical beasts exist, while the majority regards them with arch skepticism. To put things a little more prosaically, there are a lot of bullshit sex practices...

A dismal anniversary

Protests amidst celebrations as Iran commemorates Islamic Revolution of 1979

Andrew Button

Undiplomatic Relations Iran marked the 31st anniversary of its Islamic Revolution on Feb. 11 – the date Ayatollah Khomeini’s supporters ousted Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlavi and successfully rid themselves of the monarchy. The anniversary was not, however, as pleasant as the honeymoon. While many gathered to celebrate, others gathered to protest the increasingly totalitarian tactics of the government, and faced...

To ban, or not to ban – the gambling debate

The government makes a killing, but is it right?

Jonathan Ryan

I don’t gamble. I think it’s a big waste of money, especially when there are so many other ways to get a thrill (legal and otherwise). It’s no secret that, like everywhere else, Newfoundland and Labrador has had its problems with addiction. Historically it has been alcohol; maybe because of its hereditary nature, it has touched the lives of people...

BeautifulPeople.com is not beautiful

Amber Choo — The Phoenix

KELOWNA, B.C. (CUP) — If you have already read about BeautifulPeople.com, what you’ve heard probably isn’t very positive. While a relatively new networking and dating website, BeautifulPeople.com stands out from the hoards of other social sites by their controversial method of filtering applicants. The website markets itself as social networking site filled strictly with beautiful people — no more filtering...

We might as well pay the mafia

The C-15 Bill and call for more police officers is as foolish as it is unnecessary

Jonathan Ryan

The proroguing of Parliament has been all over the news lately and whether or not you believe that Mr. Harper has the right to use the option to prorogue parliament the way he has, one thing is certain: He has not been on vacation. With the appointment of five new senators, Mr. Harper has tipped the balance of the senate...

UFO is a UF-No

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s nothing – just look away

Julie Skinner

I have a group of girlfriends that I’ve known since junior high and they admittedly have a few quirks – but who doesn’t? In high school, for instance, a few of the girls would regularly cruise the streets in their parents’ cars to go creep. Yes, I’m talking a literal creep – the kind that predates Facebook – on friends...

Third-hand smoke, first-rate nonsense

The anti-smoking movement has officially jumped the shark

Andrew Button

According to Dr. Jonathan Winickoff, a Harvard researcher, “third-hand smoke” poses a real threat to children. His study shows that the smoke that lingers on furniture and clothing contains toxic chemicals that can be ingested by children. Children are at a particularly high risk for inhaling rogue carcinogens, since they spend so much crawling and rolling around with their faces...

Requiting the unrequited

“I don’t wanna wait for our lives to be over!”

Nathan Downey

Few things are capable of producing more sublime joy or more exquisite grief than the prospect of taking friendship to the next level. It’s a familiar scenario: Two people have been friends for years, get along amazingly, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. And then one member of the dynamic duo starts to feel the soul-rending twinge of Cupid’s arrow....

A short guide to the preservation of baby seals

All Pie-hadists will go to animal heaven

Paul Hussey

This short document outlines the procedures and guidelines that one must follow when attempting to prevent the death of a baby seal in numerical order. Failure to abide by these simple conventions will result in one’s spending eternity in the circle of hell reserved for seal haters. You have been warned. 1. Examine a seal’s level of cuteness and rate...

Crawling out of the mud

Clinton and Bush are using their Haiti relief fund to gloss over the many deaths caused by their neglect while in office

Paul Hussey

During Haiti’s time of unimaginable crisis and tragedy, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton have given themselves wings and halos, and teamed up as saviours of the world by forming the Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund. Formed shortly after the earthquake hit, its main purpose is to implore the American people to donate money as soon as possible through their secure agency....

Nip and tuck

A look at how to cut back on spending

Leslie Penney

It’s the middle of January and we’re pretty much all settled back into our groove. Comfortable as the groove might be, it’s time to start paying for all our holiday expenditures. You’ve probably begun to receive your credit card statements in the mail. If you read my columns last semester, you probably realize the importance of personal finances and the...

Table for three

Preparing the perfect threesome

Nathan Downey

Probably the most unifying fantasy across the sexual spectrum is the threesome. Umpteen million miles of film are devoted to the act in porndom, and it’s something of a badge of honour among the college set. Pop culture, as well, has seized the idea and repackaged it into glossy, well-lit contexts. The addition of a third person, for whatever reason,...

Paranoia and planes

The chance of being on a plane with a bomb is as likely as being hit by lightning – now repeat after me

Andrew Button

Airport security has been a hot button issue in recent weeks. Al Qaeda took credit for the recent attempted bombing of a U.S. flight (dubbed the Christmas Bombing) and Germany’s Munich Airport closed two terminals after a laptop triggered a suspected bomb alarm and a flight to Louisiana was diverted to Philadelphia because of a phylactery (a small black box...